Here We Go Again
by ladyinquisitor93
Summary: The only survivor of a great tragedy that befell her people, Alena Errett now works for the Inquisition. With her great skills and unusual appearance, she more than stands out. When she catches the attention of a certain Commander she must not only fight her own demons and face the past that haunts her, but also face the future and what lies in wait for her. Some mature content.
1. Chapter 1

"'I feel sun through the ashes in the sky. Where's the one who'll guide us into the night? What's begun is the war that will force this divide. What's to come is fire and the end of time. I am the one who can recount what we've lost. I am the one who will live on.'"

The noise of the tavern was at an all time high, the business booming after celebrating yet another victory against Corypheus and his Venatori. The soldiers took the free moment to celebrate with their comrades and raised their mugs in greeting as their commander entered the tavern.

Cullen Rutherford looked around the tavern, having felt drawn to it for some reason, and found his eyes falling upon a silver haired beauty sitting alone in a corner. He stopped as her lyrium blue eyes rose to meet his and it was as if nothing else in that room existed. His breath caught and his heart pounded in his chest, wondering if she felt the same. The woman had come to their aid when the battle was beginning to take a turn for the worst, then pledged her services to the Inquisition. No one knew anything about her and the air of mystery about her intrigued him. His gaze was broken when some of his men and the Inquisitor's companions came to pull him into the festivities. When he turned to look at her again, she was gone- leaving only a single trace where her mug sat on the oaken table.

* * *

 _"Look out!"  
_

 _Clashing of iron and steel echoed through the canyon as Inquisition and Venatori collided. Alena Errett watched from her perch, surveying the battle below her. She saw the battle turning in favour of the Venatori, but she leapt into battle and fought alongside the Inquisition._

 _A man wearing armour that resembled a lion, helm included, stopped for a moment seeing a stranger with silver hair jumping in to aid them but he quickly regained his focus and turned his attention to the next enemy._

 _Alena slashed at Venatori and demons, then turned to dodge a brute's hammer and found herself back to back with the man in the lion's armour. She glanced back at him over her shoulder. "You take the left, I take the right." She said. When he nodded, they turned their attention to the Venatori surrounding them and made quick work of them._

 _Not long after coming to their aid, Alena stood with the Inquisition victorious over the Venatori. She cleaned her blade, then began to sharpen it as she took a seat on a nearby boulder._

 _"Your assistance was most valuable." The man in the lion's armour said, approaching her._

 _"The Venatori need to be eliminated and you needed help. Simple as that." She replied, barely glancing up at him._

 _The man removed his helm and ran his fingers through golden locks as he looked around the battlefield. "You are quite handy with a sword." He noted, then looked at her. "Thank you for your help."_

 _Alena looked at him, taken a bit aback by the handsome face in front of her and his intense amber eyes as they met hers. "You're welcome."_

 _"What is your name?" he asked, blushing a little as he took in her features as well._

 _"Alena Errett of Ironbrook."_

 _"Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition."_

 _Alena raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then perhaps it is you I must speak with then."_

 _"About?"_

 _"I offer the Inquisition my services."_

Alena pulled her cloak around her and looked out over the mountains. She sighed and glanced up at the moon as it shined through the clouds. "Here we go again, Amelia. Thrown into more chaos and destruction." She turned away from the battlements to head to the room that had been procured for her within Skyhold. "Let's just hope that we can win this one."


	2. Chapter 2

**Three months later...**

The sun beat down on her back as Alena helped the workers build the new sparring ring in the courtyard of Skyhold. They had finally managed to gather the supplies and with the mage tower built and furnished- ready for the mages to move in- it was about time. Slamming the hammer one last time to secure the final post of the wooden fenced ring, Alena stepped back and looked at their handy work. She sighed and wiped away the sweat from her brow, glancing up at the sky as a falcon soared overheard.

"Well done, Serah Errett!"

Alena looked over at the foreman, an elder yet still fit as a fiddle man named Jeremy. "I'm glad I could be of some assistance, ser."

Jeremy beamed at her. Since she had come to the Inquisition, Alena always helped out around the stronghold and really became a reliable asset to the Inquisition. He knew he could always count on her for anything. "That's it for today. Can we count on your help with the repairs to the east wing?"

Alena nodded. "Of course. Just find me when you're ready to start."

Jeremy nodded and raised a hand as she took her leave. He glanced over as the Commander descended the stairs from his tower and noticed that he had stopped to watch Alena as she made her way to her quarters. He grinned to himself and shook his head, shouldering his his crate of tools. 'When will that man make his move?'

Above on the ramparts, just outside of Solas' study, Cullen had exited his tower with a bundle of reports and his hand on his sword. As he walked towards the keep, he saw the glimmer of silver and looked to find the Alena Errett was taking her leave after helping the workers on the sparring ring. He watched as she headed towards the stairs that led up to the tower where her quarters were, many thoughts running through his head. Sighing to himself, he pulled himself away from those thoughts and focused again on the task at hand. He found his way to the war room and presented the Inquisitor with the reports.

"Thank you, Commander." He said, taking the reports from him. He glanced them over, then looked up at Cullen. "Something on your mind, Cullen?"

Cullen looked up at the Inquisitor, a young man named Henry Trevelyan, and shook his head. "Not at all, Inquisitor. Why do you ask?"

Henry chuckled. "You looked like you were thinking harder than usual. You have that serious look again. Thinking about our new friend, Alena?"

Cullen was confused by the look on his face, the wry smile he bore. "What do you mean?"

Henry sighed, the smile never leaving his lips. He set down the reports. "Walk with me."

Cullen followed him as Henry led the way out of the war room, gave Josephine a quick kiss, then up through the corridor to his room. He stood with Henry on his balcony, overlooking the whole of Skyhold. He stood there silent, waiting for Henry to say something.

"What do you think of Alena Errett, Cullen? What are your impressions of her since she has joined us?"

Cullen looked at him. "She was the key turning point in the battle against the Venatori before she joined the Inquisition, and her assistance then was invaluable. It is still invaluable as she continues to assist wherever she can throughout Skyhold. She has a great deal of respect for the Inquisition and has been gaining some in return from our people. She trains with the soldiers, helps with repairs and upgrades, helps with the healers, helps with Master Dennet, and even in the kitchens. She has more than proven herself to be an asset to the Inquisition and she has earned her place."

Henry looked down and noticed Alena was approaching the mage tower, a basket in her arms. He glanced at Cullen. "What do you think of her on a more personal level?"

Cullen noticed Alena at the mage tower as well and watched as she disappeared inside. "What do I think of her on a more personal level?"

Henry sighed. "You're not following, are you, Cullen?"

Cullen looked at him, his brow furrowed. "Apparently not. What are you on about, Henry?"

Henry smiled. "I've seen how you look at each other. You may not realize it, but there is a strong magnetic pull between you two."

Cullen looked down to see Alena exiting the mage tower, no basket in tow. "Perhaps you see more than you lead people to believe, Henry."

Henry chuckled and followed his gaze, raising a hand when Alena waved to them. "She's a beautiful woman, even with such an unusual appearance. She's strong, stubborn, definitely guarded and quiet most times, but she's willing to help those who need it and do what she can to prove herself. Beyond that she's sweet, charming, considerate, kind, and she seems so lonely." He looked at Cullen. "Except for when she's with you."

"What do you mean?"

"When she's with you, she seems more relaxed, more open than she normally does. It's like you bring out a new side of her that she doesn't seem to know she has. When she's with you, it's like everything for her is brighter."

Cullen watched as Alena made her way through the ramparts and down to the healers' tents.

"So again, Cullen, what do you think of her on a more personal level?"

Cullen sighed. 'What do I think of Alena?' He thought for a few moments, then turned to Henry as he sighed.

"Think about it, Cullen." Henry said, clapping him on the shoulder. "It's not just her that changes. You change when you're with her as well. In a good way."

* * *

Alena sat in the tavern after a long day of work enjoying a nice mug of spice ale. She sat in her usual spot and mulled things over in her head. Over the few months that she had known him, Cullen had been on her mind a lot. She found it hard to focus on anything most times when she was with him. He made her blush, gave her butterflies in her stomach, made her heart race. He made her feel a way that she had never felt before and it confused her. She barely knew him or anything about him, and she was pretty sure that the same went for what he knew about her. They worked closely together, often sparring with each other, but any time she was with him it was like everything changed. He was the only person that made her feel happy, like she was able to be herself and not hide from the world- from her past. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had come to love so much about him: the way his scar twitched when he smiled, his laughter the rare few times she had heard it, the way his cheeks perk up when he smiled and the twinkle in his eyes that appeared each time, the way he looked after his men and helped out around the stronghold when he wasn't busy with his duties as the Commander. He had become a friend to her, something that she hadn't had in a long time, and despite her trying to remain distant from people, he brought out a side of herself that she didn't know she had.

'Am I falling for the Commander?' she wondered, taking a final swig of her ale. She glanced up when the door of the tavern opened and Cullen walked in, looking weary from a long day himself. She watched as he made his way to the bar and ordered a drink. She stood and dropped off her mug at the bar, thanked Kendrick for the drink, gave the Commander a nod, and left the tavern. 'Maker, just being near him makes me feel like some young maiden having her first crush...' she thought as she looked up at the sky, pulling her cloak around herself. She smiled to herself and made her way up to her quarters to turn in for the night. 'I wonder what this feeling is...'


	3. Chapter 3

_Fires raged everywhere and screams echoed in the night. Demons chasing after people fleeing the carnage, Venatori slaughtering everyone in their path. Alena stood helpless, frozen by fear as the horror scene played out before her. Her sister stood guard, casting her spells and trying to protect her little sister. Venatori and demons alike came after Alena and her sister, each time getting annihilated. After what seemed like hours, the screaming had stopped and the two sisters thought they were safe when they saw no Venatori or demons in sight._

 _"Amelia, are they gone?"_

 _Amelia looked down at her younger sister and smiled. "I think so."_

 _Alena smiled in relief, then her face went ashen with fear and shock as Amelia's face contorted in pain. "A-Amelia..?"_

 _Blood trickled down the corner of her lips and Amelia tried to smile. "It's going to be OK, Allie. I love you..."_

 _Alena watched as her sister slumped forward, drawing her last breath as she spoke those final words, a Venatori lurker standing behind Amelia with a bloodied dagger in hand. Alena was frozen with fear, but something deep within her screamed for her to run as the Venatori inched closer and closer to take her life as well. She backed away and turned to run as far and fast as she could, leaving everything and everyone behind- all destroyed and dead. Without looking back, she kept on running and running until her legs wouldn't carry her any further. She had managed to run to the next village, over half a day's ride away, and collapsed on the porch of the Chantry. The door opened at the sound of a thud and a Chantry mother peered outside, her gaze falling to where Alena lay in an exhausted heap._

 _"Maker, child, what happened?" She asked, falling to her knees beside her. When Alena didn't respond, she called to the local Templars and asked them to bring her inside._

 _All Alena could remember after that moment was being carried inside and set on a warm bed, covers being pulled over her and a cool towel placed on her feverish forehead. She quickly fell into unconsciousness as news of a nearby village being burned to the ground and everyone within dead reached the Chantry._

 _Alena Errett knew then as her world went black that they spoke of her village and she knew that she was the lone survivor of the village of Ironbrook._

* * *

 **One month later...**

Cullen sat in his office reviewing some requisition reports when a knock sounded at his door.

"Come in."

The door opened and he looked up to find Alena standing there with a few books in her arms. "Hello, Commander."

"Serah Errett, good day to you." Cullen said, offering a small smile.

Alena felt her cheeks blush a bit as she approached his desk, setting the books down. "I brought the texts you sent for. Rylen asked me to bring them to you."

Cullen looked through the texts, seeing they were all there. "Thank you, Serah Errett."

"Commander, it's alright if you call me Alena like everyone else." She said, looking from the books to him. "You don't need to be so formal with me."

Cullen chuckled. "Alright, then. Thank you, Alena."

Alena blushed a bit more and smiled. "Do you need anything else?"

Cullen shook his head. "That was everything."

Alena bowed her head, then noticed the large stack of reports he was sifting through. "Would you like some help with those reports?"

Cullen looked at the stack, seeing that he was nowhere near halfway through it yet and it was already passed midday. "If you wouldn't mind, yes I'd appreciate the help."

Alena smiled and grabbed half of the stack, taking a seat near the fireplace of his office. She started to leaf through them, reading over each one, only glancing up when she felt Cullen's eyes on her. "What?"

Cullen blushed a little, realizing he had been staring at her. "N-Nothing, I just uh-" He cleared his throat. "Thank you, for helping me with this."

Alena smiled, her blush growing a bit deeper. "Of course, Commander. Can't have you up all night again, now can we?"

Cullen chuckled. "That would be bad, wouldn't it?"

Alena's smile grew. "Yes, yes it would."

Cullen watched as she went back to the reports she had and he turned his attention back to his half of the stack.

-O-

By the time the reports were finished, it was beginning to get dark outside. Cullen stretched in his chair and watched as Alena stood, bringing over her stack and setting it on the desk.

"Would you like me to bring these reports to Rylen, Commander?" she asked.

Cullen looked up at her, seeing her silvery braid draped over her shoulder. "I'll have him take care of them in the morning. Right now, I could use a drink. Care to join me?" He asked, standing.

Alena smiled. "Sure, I'd like that."

Cullen returned her smile and they walked down to the tavern together, finding a nice quiet spot to sit and enjoy their drinks.

After a while, Cullen had a thought. "Alena, can I ask you something?"

Alena took a sip of her spiced ale and looked at him. "Sure."

"Why did you join the Inquisition?"

Alena cocked her head to the side, a puzzled look on her face. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. You appeared out of the blue, saved our hides, then offer your services to the Inquisition. You have done more than prove yourself to be an asset to us, but even so I am curious."

Alena recalled what had happened years ago when she was just a young girl and the Venatori were just beginning to get a foothold in Ferelden. Her face fell a bit and she sighed. "I joined because someone needs to put the world right again and the Venatori need to be stopped."

Cullen sensed there was something more to it than that, something she didn't want to share that clearly made her uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Alena looked at him and managed a smile. "Don't be. I have my reasons for joining, as do you."

Cullen sighed. "And so I do." He took a swig and looked at her as she traced the lip of her mug with her finger, staring into the alcohol. "Is everything alright? You seem distracted lately."

Alena looked at him and blushed a bit. "Yes, I'm fine. I've just been busy lately, as have you been." She smiled. 'That and I can't think when I'm with you. All I want to do is kiss you.' Her blush deepened as she thought that and she looked out the window as she took a swig.

Cullen chuckled and took another swig. "At any rate, thank you for everything you do around here." He said.

Alena looked at him and smiled. "I told you I offered my services to the Inquisition. I'm glad you are utilizing them."

Cullen chuckled. "Indeed we are."

Alena's smile and blush grew a bit more as she thought about how much she loved when he did that, his scar twitching upwards as he smirked.


	4. Chapter 4

Alena tossed and turned in her sleep, plague by her nightmares. She was jolted awake and looked around frantically, her breathing heavy. She put her head in her hands, trying to collect herself.

A knock came at the door and she looked up.

"I'll be right there."

On the other side of the door, Cullen stood waiting. It was in the early hours of the morning, but he had heard her cry out and ran to see if she was alright. When she opened the door, Alena looked up at him surprised.

"Commander?"

"Are you alright, Alena?" Cullen asked, his brow furrowed. "I heard you cry out."

Alena's cheeks burned and she looked away. "Y-Yes, I'm fine... just a bad dream..."

Cullen looked her over, seeing her looking shaken and dishevelled. "That bad?"

Alena simply nodded.

Cullen rubbed his neck and sighed. "Do you need to talk about it?"

Alena looked up at him, shaking her head. "Thanks, but I'm fine." He looked worn out and dishevelled as she felt. "You look like you were having trouble sleeping, too. Are you alright?"

Cullen nodded. His own nightmares had plagued him lately, but when he had woken from them he couldn't get back to sleep and had been working on paperwork to pass the time by. "Nothing I can't handle." He said, offering her a smile. "You should try to get some more sleep, Alena. Why don't you take the day off?"

Alena shook her head and smiled tiredly. "I'll be OK." She stepped forward, sliding her arms around his neck, and hugged him. "Thank you, Cullen."

Cullen smiled, wrapping his arms around her. "For what?"

Alena's smile grew. "For caring enough to check on me." She ignored the butterflies in her stomach as he held her closer.

"Of course I care, Alena. We're friends, are we not?" Cullen asked, looking at her as she set herself back down on her feet.

Alena searched his amber eyes and smiled, glad that the lighting hid her blushing cheeks. "Of course we are, Cullen. And I'm glad we are."

Cullen smiled, his hands still on her waist. He found himself wanting to stay like that for awhile longer, feeling comfort in her presence- in holding her.

Alena's cheeks burned a bit more and she cleared her throat, tearing her gaze from his and looked to the sky. "The sun should be up soon." She glanced back at Cullen. "We should get ready. It'll be a long day ahead of us."

Cullen looked at the sky and saw that dawn indeed was approaching quickly. "You're right." He looked back to her. "What are your plans for the day?"

Alena met his gaze, her heart racing. 'Maker, he looks good in this light...' She cleared her throat and her hands came to rest on his chest. "I'm helping with repairs on the east wing today, then after that nothing. Why do you ask?"

Cullen found himself blushing as he looked at her. "I, uh, well..." He couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked in the lighting, the early morning light glistening off her silver hair. "I am leaving Skyhold for a mission later this afternoon. I was wondering if you would like to accompany me. I could use an extra sword."

Alena smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'd be happy to."

Cullen smiled. "Excellent. I'll have Rylen come find you when we're ready to leave."

Alena nodded. "Alright, sounds like a plan." She blushed and patted his chest. "You should go get ready, Commander. You have a meeting with the Inquisitor this morning."

Cullen cleared his throat, his cheeks burning, and stepped back. "O-Of course, my apologies for keeping you."

Alena chuckled. "I always have time for you, Cullen." She said. "I'll see you later today."

"Yes, see you later today."

Alena smiled and stepped back into her room, closing the door behind her. Leaning against the door, she put a hand to her chest and tried to slow her racing heart. 'Maker, why does he make me feel like this?'

* * *

Rylen hurried to the east wing to find Alena. It would be an hour before the Commander left Skyhold for his mission, taking only a few men and Alena with him, but he was asked to inform her of when they planned to leave. The east wing was coming along nicely, nearing completion in repairs.

"Jeremy, have you seen Alena?" He asked, approaching the foreman.

"Ah, good afternoon, Rylen my boy. Alena is over there with Charlie and James." Jeremy said, pointing to where his two sons were with Alena.

Rylen bowed his head in thanks and approached the scaffolding where Alena and the boys were working. "Alena?"

She looked down to see Rylen ten feet below. "Hello, Rylen. What's going on?"

"Commander Cullen asked me to inform you that your party will be leaving Skyhold in one hour."

Alena smiled. "Thank you, Rylen. I'll be sure to finish up here quickly and be ready to leave by then."

Rylen returned her smile. "Excellent. The Commander and the rest of your party will join you by the inner gate."

Alena watched as Rylen excused himself and left. She found herself smiling as she turned back to her work.

"Well, now, does little miss Stardust have a date with the Commander?"

Alena's face turned bright red as she looked at Charlie and James. "W-What?"

Charlie, who had spoken first, chuckled. "That face says it all."

Alena tried to busy herself with her work. "I don't know what you're talking about."

James laughed. "Oh come now, Nana, we've seen how you act around the Commander. You like him, don't you?"

Alena's cheeks were on fire.

"Boys, leave the poor girl be." Jeremy said, coming over. "Alena, why don't you go on and get ready for your trip? The boys and I can finish up here."

Alena, grateful for the foreman's save, looked down at him. "Are you sure?"

Jeremy nodded. "Of course. Go ahead."

Alena smiled, then glared playfully at the boys. "Just you wait, boys, when you find yourselves someone..."

Charlie and James put their hands up in mock defeat, laughing when Alena rolled her eyes and climbed down the scaffolding with rosy cheeks.

"Have fun on your date!" Charlie called, his brother laughing at him as he was met with a dirty towel to the face in response.

Jeremy patted her on the shoulder as she passed by. "Be careful on your mission, Alena."

Alena nodded, smiling as she waved goodbye and hurried to her quarters. She couldn't help but feel anxious to join Cullen and the rest of their party.

* * *

Cullen had finished his meeting with Henry and the other advisors and sent Rylen to find Alena. They were ready to leave within the hour and he stood with Varric while they waited for the rest of their party to join them.

"You're more fidgety than normal, Curly." Varric noted from where he sat cleaning Bianca. "Someone on your mind?"

Cullen looked at him, seeing that coy smile on his face. "What do you mean?"

Varric chuckled. "Oh just thinking of a certain silver haired beauty joining us on this mission. She'll be a good addition to the team, but I can't help wonder if that was your only reason for asking to her come along."

"Are we talking about our dear, sweet Alena?" Dorian asked, coming to join them with the Iron Bull at his side.

"Stardust is coming too?" Bull asked, chuckling. "Now it's a party."

Cullen groaned quietly and ran a hand through his hair. He was beginning to regret taking Henry's request to bring Varric, Dorian, and the Iron Bull with him on the mission. They were going to Stonewar to find and escort a nobleman to Southreach. This nobleman was from a wealthy merchant family and the family was targeted quite a bit. The family, the Alboresi, had reached out to the Inquisition for help and Josephine- being the ambassador- saw great potential in aiding them, pointing out what a powerful alliance could come from it. Henry had suggested Cullen take Varric, Dorian, and the Iron Bull with him because they were itching for some action.

"And there she is!" Dorian said, beaming as he looked passed Cullen.

Cullen looked up to see Alena had joined them and he was taken a bit aback at how beautiful she looked in her simple clothes. She wore black leggings and a black long sleeve shirt with golden trim under a smoky blue sleeveless coat with high collar and a golden trim that hung down to her ankles, and over her leggings and black boots she wore thigh high boot covers that matched her coat. Her silver hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and her pack was slung over her shoulder.

"Hey, I hope you weren't waiting too long?" Alena said, smiling as she joined them.

"Not at all, Stardust. We just got here ourselves." Bull said. "Ready to go babysit some pampered noble?"

Alena chuckled and rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. "As ready as one could ever be." She looked up as one of the stable hands brought their horses over, then looked to Cullen. "Looks like we're all ready to go, Commander. Shall we head out?"

Cullen was lost in thought and didn't hear her.

Alena stepped closer to him, reaching up to touch his arm. "Cullen?"

Cullen shook himself from his thoughts and met her gaze. "Sorry, are we ready to leave?"

Alena nodded, wondering what was going through his head. "Yes, the horses are ready so we can leave any time."

Cullen nodded, turning away to grab his pack from where he had set it. "Then let's be off."

Alena nodded and mounted up into the saddle of her horse as the others followed suit. They started riding out through the gates and across the bridge, coming out into the snow capped mountain pass.

Dorian, Varric, and the Iron Bull rode just behind Alena and Cullen and were discussing their bets on how long it would take before either of them made a move and who would be the one to make the first move. While they talked quietly, Alena sidled up next to Cullen.

"So, what's our mission?"

Cullen looked at her, sighing. "I forgot to fill you in, didn't I?"

Alena smiled and nodded. "Yes, but it's alright. Gives us something to talk about."

Cullen returned her smile. "Our mission is to travel to Stonewar, find Ser Alboresi, and escort him to Southreach."

"Stonewar?" Alena asked, her chest tightening. "We won't be taking the Brecilian Passage road will we?"

Cullen looked at her, a little confused, and nodded. "We'll take the West Road until it connects with the Brecilian Passage. Unless you know of a different path?"

Alena broke eye contact with him and looked forward, trying to hide her panic and discomfort. "There's not another road that's quicker to take to get to Southreach."

Cullen saw a change in her demeanor, even as subtle as she tried to make it. "Is everything alright, Alena?"

Alena barely glanced at him and nodded, urging her mare forward. "We should hurry. We'll need to find a safe place to make camp before it gets dark."

Cullen watched as she urged her mare into a trot and sighed. 'I wonder what that was about...' He glanced behind him and waved for the others to follow suit as he urged his gelding forward.


	5. Chapter 5

Night fell just as Alena and her party found a safe place to camp. They set up camp, got a fire going, and started eating the dinner Varric had made. Alena sat quietly and stared into the fire, the memories of the night she lost everything beginning to resurface.

Varric, Dorian, and the Iron Bull were joking around, sharing stories and trying to urge Cullen to tell a few himself, but he noticed Alena was quiet and her brow was furrowed.

"Alena?"

She didn't answer.

Cullen tried to get her attention again, the others falling silent and looking at her worried.

Alena didn't hear Cullen calling to her. She stared into the flames, her memories taking hold.

 _"Amelia, are they gone?"_

 _Amelia looked down at her younger sister and smiled. "I think so."_

 _Alena smiled in relief, then her face went ashen with fear and shock as Amelia's face contorted in pain. "A-Amelia..?"_

 _Blood trickled down the corner of her lips and Amelia tried to smile. "It's going to be OK, Allie. I love you..."_

 _Alena watched as her sister slumped forward, drawing her last breath as she spoke those final words, a Venatori lurker standing behind Amelia with a bloodied dagger in hand. Alena was frozen with fear, but something deep within her screamed for her to run as the Venatori inched closer and closer to take her life as well. She backed away and turned to run as far and fast as she could, leaving everything and everyone behind- all destroyed and dead. Without looking back, she kept on running and running until her legs wouldn't carry her any further. The heat of the fire was all around her, kissing her skin as she leaped through burning brush. She heard someone coming towards her, their footsteps heavy like a man's. A hand grasped her shoulder and she cried out._

"Alena, it's alright!"

Alena looked at Cullen, seeing the worry on his face mirrored in those of their companions. "I-I'm sorry..." She turned and hurried off, making her way towards the creek.

"Someone should go check on her." Varric said.

Dorian stood. "I'll go."

Cullen watched the Tevinter go after Alena, but he couldn't help feel worried. Alena had been so lost in her thoughts, so distracted that when he reached out to touch her shoulder, she cried out and leapt away with fear in her eyes. He had never seen her like that before.

"Don't worry, Curly." Varric said. "Sparkler will calm her down."

Down by the creek, Alena hugged herself and stared up at the moon.

"Nana?"

Alena glanced at Dorian as he joined her.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, looking at her. "You gave us quite the start back there. The poor Commander is worried sick."

Alena looked at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry..."

Dorian pulled her into his arms, letting her cry. "It's alright, sweetie. If you want to talk about it, I'm always willing to listen."

Alena's shoulder shook as she cried. "I don't want to take the Brecilian Passage..."

"Why is that?"

Alena stepped back and wiped her eyes. "Ironbrook..."

Dorian looked at her confused. "Ironbrook?"

"My home..." Alena looked at him, her heart aching as she recalled what happened seven years ago. "When the Venatori first came to Ferelden, they attacked my home." She started to explain.

Dorian reached up and rubbed her arms. "It's alright, Nana. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, it's fine..." She took a deep breath. "The Venatori took everything from me... they burned my village to the ground, killed everyone I had ever cared about... that's why I joined the Inquisition..."

"Maker, Nana, I'm terribly sorry." Dorian said, pulling her into his arms. "I wish there was something I could say or do to help you."

"It's alright, Dorian." Alena hugged him back. "I've never told anyone what happened..." She stepped back and looked at him. "Please... don't tell the others?"

Dorian nodded. "Of course, sweetie." He patted her cheek. "Take some time before you rejoin us, alright?"

Alena nodded and stood there by the creek, collecting herself as Dorian returned to their camp. 'Can I do this..?'

* * *

Cullen sat by the fire alone, mulling thing over after Dorian and the others turned into their tents for the night. He offered to take first watch, but his mind wandered a bit as he wondered what could have set Alena off like that. She had yet to return to their camp, but he could see her clearly still standing by the creek. When Dorian had returned, he told them to give her space and let her gather herself. Whatever was bothering her she wouldn't even tell the Tevinter and all his charm. She had been standing alone by the creek for a few hours and that didn't help him worry less.

Standing, he walked down to the creek and approached Alena cautiously. "Alena?"

Alena looked over at him and offered a weary smile, but it didn't last long. "Hey..."

"Is everything alright?"

Alena sighed, looking down at the pebbles along the creek bank. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. If anyone should apologize it's me, I didn't mean to frighten you."

Alena shook her head. "No, it's alright. I let myself get lost in my thoughts. I wasn't paying attention."

Cullen looked at her shiver and pulled off his cloak, draping it over her shoulders. "You've been out here for a few hours now. Are you alright?"

Alena sighed and thanked him for the cloak. "I'll be OK."

Cullen could tell she didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her. "Alena, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

Alena smiled at that and hugged him, her arms wrapping around his waist. "Thank you, Cullen..." She stepped back and her smile faded a bit. "This is just something I don't want to talk about."

Cullen reached up to touch her cheek. "Whatever it is, you don't have to face it alone. Even if you don't wish to talk about it, I'm always here for you."

Alena's cheeks flushed and she looked at him. "Cullen..."

Cullen smiled and kissed her forehead. "When you're ready, come back to camp. You should get some rest."

Alena watched him start heading back to their camp. "Cullen, wait, your cloak..."

Cullen smiled and looked back at her. "Keep it for the night."

Alena smiled and pulled it closer around her, his scent strong within the fur of the pauldrons. 'He smells like dragonthorn...' Her smile grew and she felt comforted by his scent as she had for months now. She looked at Cullen as he sat by the fire to continue his watch. 'He such a sweetheart...' Then recalling what happened earlier, her smile faded. She felt guilty for reacting the way she did, for making him worry so much. She looked up at the moon and sighed. "Amelia, what am I going do?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Curly."

Cullen looked up as Varric came up.

"How's Stardust doing?"

Cullen looked over at where Alena sat sharpening her sword. It had been a few days since their first night camping. "She won't talk about what happened, but she seems to be OK."

The Iron Bull looked up from where he was sitting. "Has she ever said where is she from?" He had an idea of what may be going on with Alena, but he needed to confirm his suspicions.

"Ironbrook, some village here in the Hinterlands." Varric said.

"Are you sure she said Ironbrook?" Bull asked.

"Yes, she mentioned that was where she was from when we first met." Cullen said.

"Well, shit. That explains a lot." Bull said.

Cullen looked at the Qunari. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not too surprised you don't know, Cullen. It happened seven years ago, so you would have been in Kirkwall." Bull started. He glanced back at Alena, then turned back to the others. "Ironbrook was one of the first places to get hit by Venatori in Ferelden. The entire village was burned to the ground, everyone slaughtered." He looked back at Alena who was moving from her sword to polishing her armour. "It's unbelievable that she could have survived all that..."

Cullen looked over at Alena, beginning to understand what happened a few days prior. "No wonder she's been on edge. The Brecilian Passage runs passed where Ironbrook would have stood."

Alena sat just out of earshot from what was being said, but she felt like she was being watched and looked up to find the others staring at her. "What?"

Dorian beamed at her as he joined the other men. "Just admiring how beautiful you looked taking care of your gear."

Alena blushed a little and smiled, but the look Cullen had on his face made her wary. She stood, setting her gear down. "Cullen, is everything alright?"

Cullen nodded and tried to feign a smile, but after hearing what Bull had said, he wanted nothing more than to hold her.

Alena looked at him and saw something was wrong, then at Dorian. "Did you tell them?"

Dorian looked at her, confused. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Cut the crap, Sparkler. Did you tell them?" Alena asked again, feeling a bit betrayed. "After I asked you not to?"

"I did, Stardust." Bull said, looking to her. "They didn't know what happened to Ironbrook."

"You had no right, Bull..." Alena felt so many emotions running through her and she felt herself losing control.

"Nana, he didn't know not to say anything." Dorian tried to say, but Alena shook her head and glared at Bull.

"You had no right!" She had spent so much time hiding from her past and now they knew; now _Cullen_ knew. "No right..."

"Oh dear..." Dorian crossed his arms and sighed, looking to Bull who had the expression of guilt.

Cullen stood as she started to back away from them. "Alena, wait."

Alena needed to breathe. Her world was spinning around her, like everything was spiralling out of control.

Cullen reached out to steady her when she tripped. "Alena..."

Alena refused to meet his gaze and stepped away from him. "Leave me alone..."

Cullen reached out to stop her from leaving and pulled her into his arms.

No matter how much she struggled, Alena couldn't push him away and she finally just gave in. She broke down into tears, collapsing into his arms.

Cullen held onto her, looking at the others and seeing the same look of helplessness and defeat he felt. He couldn't do anything more than hold her and try to comfort her.

Alena felt so vulnerable, so small. She forced herself to swallow her tears and pushed back from Cullen. "I'm sorry..."

Cullen reached up and wiped away the tears. "Don't be." He smoothed her hair back and looked down at her. "Will you tell us what happened?"

Alena looked down, but rose her gaze to meet Dorian's when he told her it was OK. She sighed. "Alright." Taking a deep breath, she began to tell her tale.

* * *

 _Alena sat playing with her hair as she watched her sister training. She had came back home from Kinloch Hold, the Circle Tower of Ferelden, for a visit before she was sent to Starkhaven to become an enchanter and take on a position teaching in the Starkhaven Circle of Magi._

 _"Do you have to go back?" Alena asked._

 _Her sister nodded, pausing for a moment. "It's a good opportunity for me, Allie. Besides, it will be a good chance for me to earn money to send to you here."_

 _"But, Amelia, you don't have to worry about me." Alena insisted. "I can take care of myself."_

 _Amelia smiled and nodded. "That's true, but we need to keep the farm going. And we need money for that."_

 _Alena sighed. "I know... plus it'd help to make sure I can protect the farm too. Bandits have been coming through these parts lately. Can't be too careful."_

 _Amelia nodded. "See? At least I can help keep things running and protected with what I earn."_

 _Alena smiled, but a thought popped into her head. "Amelia, I've been wondering for some time now..." She looked at her sister. "How come I'm not special like you or Mum and Da were? How come I don't have magik?"_

 _Amelia looked at her littler sister. "Allie..." She came to sit next to her. "Having magik is both a blessing and a curse. Mum and Da were both healers and used their magik to help protect Ironbrook, but they were killed by Templars when we were young because they were apostates. I hadn't started showing signs of magik yet and it was years before that happened. In fact, my magik didn't awaken until you were fourteen. The Templars who were stationed here back then saw me use magik and they took me away. You remember that right?"_

 _Alena nodded. "It was the worst day of my life. Mum and Da I was too young to remember well, but having the Templars take you away was awful."_

 _"And yet because they did, I was able to learn what I needed to in the Circle and now I can help people like Mum and Da did." Amelia said. She put her hand on her sister's. "You may have magik, you may not. Be thankful you don't right now. Things have grown tense between mages and Templars." She looked up as a group of local Templars passed by. "I'm surprised they even let me come home first." She looked back to Alena, seeing the concern on her sister's face. "Don't worry, Allie. The Templars going with me have worked with me for years. They know me and I know them. Despite the tensions, they're people I can trust and they trust me."_

 _Alena sighed. "Just promise you'll be careful? One mage with three Templars doesn't make me comfortable."_

 _Amelia chuckled and kissed her sister's head. "I'll be fine, Allie, don't worry. I promise."_

 _Alena smiled, but it soon faded when they heard the sound of a commotion coming from the village square. "What's going on?"_

 _Amelia stood. "I don't know. We should be careful."_

 _"Let's go see what going on." Alena stood and followed Amelia to the village square._

 _In the square, there were dozens of people from Ironbrook gathered around the square and there was a group of strangely garbed people at the center._

 _"Koda, what's going on?" Amelia asked one of the young men nearby._

 _Koda had been a good friend of theirs since childhood, often looking after Alena for Amelia. "They call themselves 'Venatori'. They're looking for someone, a young girl they think has a special power."_

 _Alena looked through the throng of people and felt her blood turn to ice when she saw a woman with blonde hair turn her gaze towards her, eyes narrowed. She backed away, then turned to Amelia. "I don't like it here, Amelia. Let's go home."_

 _Amelia nodded and as they were about to leave, the woman Alena had seen made her way towards them._

 _"Halt."_

 _Amelia and Alena turned to face the woman._

 _The woman stepped forward, reaching up to grasp Alena's chin. "You are quite the young little beauty, my dear. What is your name?"_

 _Alena shuddered under the touch and gaze of this strange woman. "A-Alena."_

 _"Alena..." The woman looked her up and down. "How old are you, my dear?"_

 _"Nineteen."_

 _The woman smirked and looked to the Venatori with her. "This is the one. We'll take her with us."_

 _"What?" Alena's heart dropped._

 _"Serah, you cannot be serious. My sister is not going anywhere."_

 _The woman looked at Amelia as she stood in front of Alena protectively. "You are of no use to us. You have Circle training, you are not worthy of our master." She looked at Alena. "This one, however, has no training and her power is raw, untapped."_

 _"I am not a mage." Alena said, her voice shaky._

 _"You don't know?" The woman laughed. "You poor dear. You have no idea the power you hold! I am surprised your sister could not sense it in you."_

 _Alena looked at Amelia, then at Koda as he stepped in front of them. "Koda?"_

 _Koda looked over his shoulder at Amelia. "Take her and get out of here. We'll hold them off."_

 _"Koda, I can't leave you." Amelia said, but the look Koda gave her made her stop._

 _"Mia, go. We can handle these bafoons. Get Allie out of here."_

 _Amelia nodded and took Alena's hand, turning to run._

 _"Venatori, make quick work of these fools and bring me that girl." The woman ordered, stepping back as all hell broke loose._

 _Fires began to rage everywhere and screams echoed in the night as the two sisters ran. Demons had been summoned by the Venatori mages and they were chasing after people fleeing the carnage, the Venatori themselves slaughtering everyone in their path as they searched for Alena._

 _Alena stood helpless, frozen by fear as the horror scene played out before her. Her sister stood guard where they had been cornered, casting her spells and trying to protect her little sister. Venatori and demons alike came after Alena and her sister, each time getting annihilated. After what seemed like hours, the screaming had stopped and the two sisters thought they were safe when they saw no Venatori or demons in sight. They found took shelter in a barn on the far side of the village, near the outskirts.  
_

 _"Amelia, are they gone?"_

 _Amelia looked down at her younger sister and smiled. "I think so."_

 _Alena smiled in relief, then her face went ashen with fear and shock as Amelia's face contorted in pain. "A-Amelia..?"_

 _Blood trickled down the corner of her lips and Amelia tried to smile. "It's going to be OK, Allie. I love you..."_

 _Alena watched as her sister slumped forward, drawing her last breath as she spoke those final words, a Venatori lurker standing behind Amelia with a bloodied dagger in hand. Alena was frozen with fear, but something deep within her screamed for her to run as the Venatori inched closer and closer to take her life as well. She backed away, out of the barn, and turned to run as far and fast as she could, leaving everything and everyone behind- all destroyed and dead. Without looking back, she kept on running and running until her legs wouldn't carry her any further._

 _She had managed to run to the next village, over half a day's ride away, and collapsed on the porch of the Chantry. The door opened at the sound of a thud and a Chantry mother peered outside, her gaze falling to where Alena lay in an exhausted heap._

 _"Maker, child, what happened?" She asked, falling to her knees beside her. When Alena didn't respond, she called to the local Templars and asked them to bring her inside._

* * *

"The last thing I remember was passing out after being carried inside. When I woke up, I heard the news about Ironbrook from the locals of the village and I knew it wasn't a dream."

Cullen and the others stared at Alena as she finished sharing her tale.

"The woman sounds like Calpernia." Dorian said, stroking his chin. "Curious that they would come searching for someone with power in a place like this."

"But you don't wield magik, Stardust. What power could that woman have seen in you?" Bull asked.

Alena shrugged, hugging herself. "I don't know. Mum, Da, and Amelia all had magik, but my whole life I've been normal. There's nothing special about me. Except for my hair."

Dorian looked at her, deep in thought.

"What's on your mind, Sparkler?" Varric asked.

"There's an old legend my father would often speak of when I was a boy." Dorian said. "In the Magisterium, they would speak of a child with starlit hair blessed by the heavens with a rare magik. No one knew what kind of magik, but it was always said that this child held the power to unlock an infinite number of possibilities and there was no telling what they were capable of." He pointed to Alena's hair. "I've never met anyone with hair like yours. It's possible that Calpernia thought you to be this child of legend, and if she sensed power within you it would validate her thinking."

Alena's heart began to race. "What are you saying?"

"Now, sweetie, don't take this to heart as it is possible you just have very unique hair. However, if Calpernia sensed power within you it is possible that you may be the child of legend."

Cullen looked from Alena to Dorian. "Are you saying Alena may be a mage?"

"It is possible. Though not certain."

Alena felt weak and sank to her knees. "This can't be..."

Cullen knelt beside her and rubbed her back. "Are you alright?"

Alena couldn't find the words to speak, not with so much running through her head. 'Could I really be a mage...?'


End file.
